attempt at ponytail: fail

I put in a tiny little ponytail this afternoon--it's the first time I could put most of my short hair up and have it stay. I figured I could wear it for a couple hours before it started hurting my scalp.

Scratch that plan: it's been twenty minutes and I'm taking the thing down. Boo!

Little annoyances like this of course don't matter in the grand (or not-so-grand) scheme of life, but they really bug me. I can't even wear a ponytail if I want to! I can't sit in a friend's house if a scented candle is lit! I can't wander into a bar where smoking is allowed even if I love the band that's playing! Wah, wah, wah.

the big chop

I've mentioned before how sensitive I am when it comes to my scalp. My hair has been growing longer and longer, perhaps longer than it's ever been before. On its best days, it looks tousled and pretty. On its worst (read: average) days, it's slightly frizzy and unkempt. Invariably, wearing it down means I soon try to pull it back away from my face in a casual, loopy bun. The weight of the bun has increased over time, making it so I have to obsessively redo the bun every few minutes to see if I can minimize the pulling on my scalp.

When I wear my hair up--even with lots of support from pins and so-called "scrunchies," it starts to yank on my head and I soon must take it down. In May, I was a bridesmaid who had to wear her hair up. There was enough the drama/trauma brought into my life that day just from the bun-making process alone--suffice to to say I can't create an up-do to save my life. But as the hours ticked on, the bun felt tighter and pulled more and more on my scalp, especially at the crown. The moment I was done with all the photographic obligations, you can bet I yanked all those bobbypins and ponytail holders out and popped a Maxalt. Ow.

It's August in Georgia. Do any of you know what that means? August. In Georgia. 100 degree heat, very high humidity. I'm not wearing my hair down to save my life, but wearing it up means a Migraine attack.

So what did I go and do today? I chopped it.

Even if I end up not liking how the cut looks, at least I know I love the weightlessness of it!

The end.

a new coffee shop experience

I'm at my favorite local coffee joint, Jittery Joe's (which is now opening franchises around, though the Five Points location in Athens shall never be beat!). Back when I used to visit Athens to see my sister or my friends, I'd come here. Once I moved here in 2004, I took up residence here a few nights a week to do research, to work on grad school papers, and to socialize.

Things are different now. I finished grad school two years ago and hardly visit cafes nowadays. I brought a bunch of books and references for the article I should* have done already, but instead I'm sitting here thinking of how things have changed.

1. I ordered a decaf coffee and didn't put any sugar in it. This is the new Janet who's trying to only have caffeine when she needs to kick a faint Migraine out of the picture.

2. I am google searching for information on Migraine and drug side effects instead of trying to surreptitiously visit social networking sites to waste time.

3. My forearms and hands feel numb from the Imitrex I had to take a couple of hours ago before my evening job began. I can't type as accurately or as quickly when my fingers feel drugged.

4. I'm afraid I don't have the concentration and procrastination-fueled fervor that once accompanied coffee shop trips and waiting 'til the last minute.

5. I'm stealing glances at the girls who are working behind the espresso machine. One has hair down past her butt. It's beautiful and shiny and it's a difficult hairdo to pull off, but she does it! I know I could never have this hair, as it would weigh on my head. The other girl has her blond hair in a high ponytail--this style, which took me quite a while to master when I was young, is now not in the realm of possibilities for me, as after ten minutes the scalp and head pain would drive me crazy. Even releasing my hair from such a constraining hairdo leads to aches when my hair suddenly bends in a different direction. This all leaves me wondering what I'll do when I have to put my hair up in an up 'do for my friend's wedding Saturday. Aah!


*A great post I read somewhere recently discussed the need to have fewer (if any) shoulds in your life. "Oh, I should be working. I should call my cousin. I should do the dishes." These seemingly obligatory duties weigh on us more and more when what we could be doing is focusing on what we have been able to do and what we have accomplished. The original piece I read was more eloquent, but I can't find it!

scalp/hair pain

I sometimes feel extra sensitive on my scalp when I'm having a Migraine; without a doubt, I am a girl who can't stand to have a regular ponytail in for more than a few minutes because of the aches that come as a result. During and right after a Migraine, I've been known to feel scalp pain.

But this is different. All day the crown of my head has ached as if I had a ponytail pulling on it--but I hadn't put my hair up at all when the pain started. The pain is all around the roots of my hair and is exacerbated by my pressing on my ultra-sensitive scalp. It's truly a strange sensation, especially since, as I've said, I didn't have a ponytail in, nor am I having a Migraine.

A cursory Google search gave me some leads when I looked up "scalp pain" and "hair pain," but I'm doubting I have the ailments (other than Migraine) mentioned as possible reasons for scalp pain.

This post is mainly for myself in the case this continues--it'd be nice to be able to tell my neurologist when it started and how it felt.

Does anyone here feel this same sensation sometimes?

Migraine & Headache Poetry Contest

For all you wordsmiths (or even those of you who haven't tried your hand at it before), check out this contest! Entries are due VERY soon--April 21, this Monday.

Give it a shot--you've got nothing to lose but a little bit of stress. (Writing helps a lot, you know.)

the migration of pain

In the last few weeks, I've felt better than usual on my good days but worse than usual on my bad days. That is to say, the pains are more painful and the comfortable days aren't marked by as much pain.

Yesterday I had a particularly stressful day full of assignments and work. The stress was only compounded by the fact that I seem to have misplaced my motivation and gusto for anything other than reading books and writing on my own. I blame part of my distractability on my withdrawal from Effexor XR, which brings up strange little side effects. The rest? My fault. My laziness.

In any case, I met some friends out but didn't last long. I started to get a slight "ponytail headache," the kind where your hair follicles actually start to ache from the pain of holding all your hair up in a small rubber band. Only thing was, I had no rubber band in. At least it wasn't a Migraine, right? 'Cause my Migraines almost always start behind my left eye with dash of right eyeball attention. My town no longer allows smoking indoors, but my hypersensitive nostrils still caught plenty of sharp whiffs of the cigarettes people were puffing on directly outside the open door. The pain behind my nose and cheeks intensified; the throbbing in the very center of my head staked its claim on my skull and encouraged me to call it a night.

Because I am fearful of taking Relpax + naprosyn every time I feel a headache coming on (more coming on that fear in a later entry), I avoided the drugs by going to bed. Woke up about 3 hours earlier than usual with throbbing pain that wouldn't leave me alone. Gave in and took the meds and am already worried about tomorrow's rebound headache that will most likely manifest itself as soon as my intensive 10-hour work day begins.

In the meantime, I tilt the computer screen back so it barely sends its glow to me, and I squint my eyes in pain as I scroll through the menus on my cell phone, trying to call the pharmacy for even more prescription refills my insurance no longer covers...

Pity party is now declared...over!