perfect timing

I've mentioned before how grateful I am to have discovered the Partnership for Prescription Assistance (http://www.pparx.org/en/prescription_assistance_programs). I enrolled quite a while ago--with my doctor's prescription (and a low enough salary to make me a deserving candidate), I now pay less for drugs than I did when I had insurance. And when I say "I pay less," what I mean is I PAY NOTHING.

Yesterday and today I've had morning migraine attacks followed by druggy, semi-wasted afternoons. I love the quickness of Maxalt but not the ghost of a Janet it leaves behind. I've been working like a madwoman of late, so maybe this is a good chance to catch up on reading. (Today I finished three books!)

But taking Maxalt yesterday and today meant I was already halfway through with the samples my doctor gave me a few weeks ago. What to do if another migraine hit in the next week? Did PPARx ever get my application? Would I be approved for more prescription drugs through their service?

I checked the mail and voila: 5 packs of Imitrex just waiting for me. All it took was filling out the application, proving I am not rich, and getting my doctor to check me out and write a new prescription for triptans.

How my mind is eased when I know I have drugs if I need them. Sometimes just having them on hand makes me feel a million times better.

the joys of being a woman!

some of my favorite things to bring my headachey self some relief:
delicious cafe, reading, and my rose-tinted, anti-fluorescent glasses

Each blessed month, I am so proud to be graced with an entire week of cramps, headaches, exaggerated achiness, remarkably spectacular swings in mood, irritability with the people I love most, and--best of all--I get to deal with my Feminine Products nearly every hour on the hour for a couple of days! IT'S AWESOME.

But the migraine that accompanies this monthly extravaganza of womanhood is probably the best part of it. It's so great that after a couple days of using triptans I'm not allowed to use any more. That means I get to take ineffective rescue meds and just bask in the glory of my brain chemistry, thinking of how every action I take brings me pain and there's relatively little I can do about it until my period is gone.

Today we are on day one of not being able to use triptans. Luckily I have a two p.m. deadline and a 2:30 PM doctor's appointment.

It is bothering me that I wrote the time in two distinctly different formats just then. But to show how casual and carefree I am nowadays, I am just going to LEAVE IT AS IS!

A bit stressed and headachey but chipper enough to drive you crazy,
Janet

I think more than I write.

I think about writing many times a day. That is to say, many times a day I find myself thinking about writing. During my evening walks, I look around my neighborhood and think about all the deep, meaningful things I could say. Of all the wry observations I could make. Of all the silly commentaries I could provide to entertain myself.

But when I get back home again, I don't write. I've neglected my blogs, my letters, and my journals. I've neglected my email. I just haven't felt like writing when actually presented with the chance.

The angel on my shoulder encourages me and fills my head with stuff and nonsense: Janet, you're not writing because you don't yet know how to express all the deep, impressive, and wonderfully moving thoughts you're having. You have a Master's degree with a focus on creativity theory: you know that you must incubate before you can produce an original idea, an original creation! You're just incubating!

The cynical, self-deprecating part of me has different thoughts all together: You're a scaredy cat. From the moment you learned to put pencil to paper, you've thought--at least glancingly--that you'd become an author. You are a good writer but will never have the guts or the willpower to be a great one, the one you know you can be. So you just rest on your laurels, write nothing, and tell yourself that you'd be great...if you were in the mood to try.

Of course the truth probably runs somewhere between those two extremes. I definitely know that elements of each argument hit a little too close to home--this suggests to me that both my kind and evil sides know a bit of what's going on inside my mind regaring my self-motivation (or lack thereof).

Writing this blog has helped me in ways I could never really describe. I have a sense of community with readers and with other folks whose blogs I read. There's a whole community of us out there, a community I tapped into at just the right time, right when I was feeling most isolated about my disease. Telling my friends and family was a big step--an important one that has improved relationships and opened lines of communication. But it's also hard to post about pain and suffering when you know your mom or sister or aunt or boyfriend could be reading. Strangers out there may sympathize with our migrainous plight and wish us well, but family and friends can be hurt reading about how much of a struggle it is to live with this illness day to day.

view from my apartment in Bs. As.

Recently I've been both bummed and relieved. Strange combination, I know. The month I was in Buenos Aires was wonderful and lovely and relaxing, but my migraine frequency skyrocketed. A disappointment, to say the least, especially after I'd been doing remarkably well post-December's doctor appointment. In Buenos Aires, I had to break my healthy diet rules nearly every day, as dairy and white, enriched flour and other no-nos were sometimes impossible to avoid if I wanted to have any sustenance at all. I lived with 1-2 roommates (friends) at a time in a comfy but small apartment. This led me to a truth I'd been on the brink of already: having a boyfriend as an occasional roommate is far different from having a friend-roommate. At least if the boyfriend is J. and the girlfriend is me. I know that my friends don't need to be entertained; I know that roommates/guests don't necessarily need my help and guidance and company. But, man! It was definitely more of an effort sharing a space with them than it is sharing one with J. (We have yet to do an official move-in, but it may happen by the end of this year. Maybe. We'll see.)

But back to the matter at hand. Since I've been back from Buenos Aires, I've not had one migraine. Not a one! I've relished the mere thought of being able to eat my meals in my own house. I've eated two meals out in two weeks. (Well, three meals if you count that very necessary 3 AM snack at Huddle house with Christa last weekend.) This is not like me. I tend to eat out a few days a week. But now the thoughts of rice and stir-fried vegetables trump any desire for pizza, heretofore desirable cream sauces and pasta, etc. I feel remarkably better when I eat well, and the truth of that was emphasized by the month in Argentina when I couldn't stick to my diet rules. Now I'm feeling no migraine pain and have no tummy issues. Whew.

However, something else is afoot. I'm exhausted, achey, tired, and more all the time. The list goes on and on. I've a sneaking suspicion something else is going on with my body. Next week I see the doctor again and will figure some more stuff out. Maybe results from yesterday's blood work will yield some answers.

All in all, things are going well and I'm confident they'll keep getting better. Hope you're feeling similarly about your own lives.

my therapeutic yoga class

Okay, jury's in: I love my therapeutic yoga class. I was really overwhelmed after my first session--everyone in the class is amazing in his or her own way, and everyone has at least one (at least!) major health obstacle she's trying to cope with. All those fears about not being flexible enough, about not being able to keep up, about not doing things "correctly," have flown out the window. Slowly but surely I'm taking to heart my experienced yoga teacher's words: if your movements are painful, you're not doing yoga. Everyone's body is completely different from the next, so one person's ability to move in a certain way should not be judged against the next person's. In doing some arm exercises, I pushed myself to keep my arms high despite their beginning to get tingly and painful. After the class, I mentioned the discomfort to my teacher, who told me to lower my arms significantly--if that didn't work, we'd figure out another modification that would perhaps allow me to do this exercise.

Each class is two hours long but is not rigorous or stressful in the least. We move slowly and mindfully, paying attention to our breathing and always taking note of how our movements make our bodies feel. (I speak as if I'm a self-proclaimed guru at this point--this is far from the case, but speaking confidently about the practice sure can't hurt!) It's hard for me to slow my mind down, to not pay attention to the racing thoughts that flit across my brain like so many little birds.

There are two other severe chronic migraineurs in the class, and I completely misjudged how wonderful it'd be to talk with them in person. I've gained so much through web-based relationships on this blog (and in using other health websites), but to see someone's face as she describes her life with migraine is such a different experience. One woman's headaches were daily and severe. She, like me, made TONS of lifestyle changes all at once. She continually reassures me and encourages me, telling me how happy she feels that I have already begun to find hopefulness where before there was despair. This is a person who has been coming to this particular therapeutic yoga class for seven years, a chronic daily migraineur. Guess when her last migraine attack was? Over six years ago. Can you imagine that? I'm beginning to allow myself to imagine that. I'm not planning on it, mind you, but I am allowing myself to believe at last that this is possible, that after all this searching and medication and vitamins and doctor's visits there could be something that has a drastically wonderful effect on my life.

It's not easy to change everything at once. This evening my friend told me how she was about to order a greasy, delightfully cheesy Papa John's pizza. As soon as I was alone again, I thought about that pizza. Thought about dipping it in those notoriously fatty cups of garlic sauce and how wonderful it tastes.

And then I got home and heated up rice, broccoli, and onions for dinner. I feel satiated and healthy. No cheese-induced tummyache for me. But man--I do love pizza.

People, I want you to allow yourselves to be hopeful. I want you to imagine that it will be possible to live your lives without fear of a migraine coming on at the slightest provocation. For too long I have treated myself too gingerly--much of that was necessary and safe, I know, but it kept me from living my life well. KEEPS me from living my life well. (There goes Guru Jan again, acting as if she's got it all figure out, when really I'm play-acting here and there, only partly able to fully believe how healthy I am becoming.) It's so hard for me to imagine that any of these changes I've made could NOT help most of you. This from the girl who gets really frustrated when people, out of the goodness of their hearts, push so-called miracle drugs onto her--if Topamax works for so many, it MUST work for you, Janet! You're probably just not taking it right!

I fear becoming the person who pushes her ways onto you. At the same time, I can't resist trying to engage some of you in this discussion, to encourage some of you to incorporate healthier habits in an attempt to curb the number and severity of your attacks. Please let me know if I'm annoying you. Please let me know if you are interested in talking more. Please let me know if I should abandon this blog all together before driving you all crazy!! :)

goggly googly eyes

Today I went to the YMCA to swim for the first time in awhile. Had I not been walking frequently in the month I've neglected the Y, I might feel a bit embarrassed at not having visited the pool in so long. But I had to skip the Y for several weeks' time due to my being ill (can't be contagious at the Y!) and then because of the severe ear pain that accompanied my dipping my head even 2" underwater.

Today I went around 11 AM and was happy to find a whole lane open for me. I swam a bit but my goggles kept flipping off each time I did a flip turn (probably because I had them on pretty loose--tying them as tightly as I should hurts my head too much!). I gave up after a whopping ten or fifteen minutes and exited the pool. Would've dipped in the clean yet decrepit hot tub were an older lady not already in it. (I don't really want to make small talk while sitting in a 104-degree communal tub. Sorry, lady.)

In the car about to make my way home, I glanced in the mirror and noticed that my lower eyelids were super puffy. After a second I realized this was probably because of wearing goggles. Nearly twelve hours later, however, I look in the mirror and still see those bags under my eyes, bags that were NOT there when I woke up this morning. My face has felt stuffy since the swim, too--and here I'd thought I'd almost rid myself of this obnoxious cold/sinus infection for awhile. Ick.

Anyone ever have his or her head get really stuffy while swimming? The doctors I've seen recently didn't seem surprised at the fact that my ear hurts due to water pressure, but since it happened again today (post medical care) combined with my strange under-eye sinus puffiness, I'm wondering what else is up.

On a related note, I put my Y membership on hold for a few months. (This means I won't pay the monthly fee 'til I start going again, and I won't have to pay a joiner's fee when I start going to the Y again. Not that I paid the joiner's fee in the first place--had that waived for no other reason than that I asked!) I have really been enjoying my walks, and they seem to be a better use of time. By the time I drive to the Y, change into my suit, swim laps, change back, drive home, shower, and change again, I could have walked out my door and around the neighborhood for over an hour. Given the choice, I choose FREE.

could it really be that simple?

Were it not for overindulging on New Year's Eve (um, oops), I would probably still be having a migraine-free 2009. On the evening of the 31st, it'd been nine days since my last attack. As of 8 AM on the 1st, however, I was back at square one. That time I knew precisely who was the culprit: me and my re-found affection for white wine. Yes, it's true--I'm drinking that delicious nectar again, but with at LEAST 16 oz. of water with every glass of wine. Worked out well for me 'til NYE when I made the mistake of having a nightcap. Turns out wine is a bit more alcoholic than what I'm used to drinking.

But that's somewhat besides the point.

For the first time, I really, truly believe that I can get this disease under control. I'm following my doctor's orders, yes, but I'm not doing too much that's out of the ordinary. In general, I'm doing things I've always known to be good for me, things that I've let slip out of my life for one reason or another. As I've mentioned here before, the regular exercise has already proven to be quite the boon. It was nice to be validated by my new doctor, told that even long walks would give me a boost in serotonin. I don't need to swim at sprint-speed for an hour or even turn my walk into a run--I can just walk briskly five times a week and reap the benefits of exercise. It took some effort to let go of the notion that an "in shape" person should be able to jog or swim laps for much longer than I can without getting winded. Truth is, I'm not in the best shape. Another truth is that my body doesn't like it too much when I overexert myself (migraine trigger alert!), so why not take it easy and work my way up to some gentle exercise that fits the bill and makes me feel better?

A few days ago, I walked by the Habitat for Humanity parking lot on a walk. "Girl, you need to be runnin'!" a worker loading boxes called out to me. I do believe that a few months (or even years) ago I would have felt a bit bad after hearing this, simply knowing that I SHOULD be able to run and jump and do the activities a healthier person can. But this day was different. "Nah, I'm more of a walker," I called back, to which the man responded with a smile: "All right, all right!" I could have cited the arthritis in my knees, my bouts with sciatica, and my tendency to develop a migraine when I overexert myself. But I didn't. I just admitted that I'm more of a walker and kept on going. And you know what? I wasn't hard on myself afterward. I didn't spend too much time harping on the differences between my super-in-shape self of the early 90s (when I was a pre-teen, mind you!) and the 28-year-old I am today. I just kept going, and I felt great. There is a joy in being able to move and exercise without pain; you don't need to overdo it in order to feel accomplished. If there's one thing I've learned in these 2+ months of exercising healthily, it's that it's important to do what's right for you and not judge yourself by the standards set forth by fitness experts and marathon runners. Just do what you can. I do, and I hope to continue doing this.

Most of the other recommendations from the doctor were pretty simple, too. Eat well, treat my body well, and the like. J., my beau, pointed out the fact that many of the doctor's tips were tips he'd recommended for us long ago. Eat more fresh fruit and vegetables. Try to cut out dairy. J. hadn't called the "weed out white and enriched flour" bit, but that wasn't surprising. White and enriched flour is rougher on your system if you're sensitive like me and have IBS.

I keep reflecting on my wonderful visit and wishing more people could meet with this same doctor and have success. Were I you, I'd be skeptical. All the same, I'm putting it out there: I'm convinced that this person could help many of the people reading this. No, I'm not going to post his name and information (though if you are convinced by my admiration you can email me for details). He diagnosed me with several diseases/disorders I'd long since guessed I'd had, but didn't diagnose in a way I perceived as threatening or upsetting. He just verified my suspicions: I have mild depression, chronic fatigue (but not necessarily chronic fatigue syndrome, mind you), arthritis, allodynia (which I suspected I had on my scalp but had no idea was related to the bruised feeling I often have on my arms, legs, and torso!), Migraine disease (duh), irritable bowl syndrome (IBS), hypersensitivity, and mucositis (inflammation of the mucus membranes--mine is chronic but should be helped with my new regimen). I felt vindicated and relieved--all of these seemingly disparate symptoms I've been suffering from for a long time were all named, and all of them were related to my naturally low serotonin levels. The doctor is convinced that regulating my serotonin levels will allow me to live a happier, more productive, and less painful life. He pointed out how much better I'd been feeling since I started exercising and said that the exercise, combined with a diet that's easier on my system and some other exercise and relaxation techniques, I could cut out the majority of my migraines.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!

Every day I make a smoothie chock full of good things for me--blueberries, pomegranate juice, tea, oatmeal soaked in rice milk, flaxseed, and some supplements. Each morning and night I take supplements/vitamins, a few of which I've been taking for a couple of years now. Five days a week I'm to engage in "gentle exercise" for 30-60 minutes, depending on how long it takes for me to reach the peak when I have the endorphin rush. I've been exercising 45-70 minutes when I go out and walk. Tomorrow I'll call and sign myself up for therapeutic yoga class (which I convinced Handicapped Twin to go to, too!); soon I'll buy a book on mindful meditation (the main form of meditation that has lots of good research behind it, hence the hospital being able to endorse it). The more I do for myself, the better and more hopeful I feel. I've already begun returning more to what I consider my "real" self--making calls to distant loved ones with more frequency, writing letters again (something I was once famous for but sort of dropped in recent times), and persuing creative activity. Hell, I even enrolled in the Sketchbook Project and am trying my hand at drawing, something I never thought I'd do.

I'm happy. I really hope you are, too. I hate the fact that I might sound as if I'm proselytizing, but it's hard to hold back when you've been hopeless for so long and suddenly see concrete evidence that your life is changing for the better. I dare any of you who've made it through this entire blog entry to start exercising a few days a week to the best of your ability and see if you don't feel better. I dare you!

Happy 2009. Love love love.

the best is yet to come!

I've been doing better and better at staying positive--it helps that my migraine frequency and severity have both plummeted in the last month and a half, I know.

Goals for 2009:

• Eat well (and according to doctor's instructions) -- this means limiting dairy (wah) and cutting out as much refined & white flour as possible. This means eating more fresh fruit and veggies. No regular intake of sugary sweetness.
  
• Exercise frequently. No need to pressure myself to become a runner or hard-core cardioaddict. Just regular, gentle exercise. Slow laps in the pool, long walks around the neighborhood, yoga class. Take it easy while staying in shape and keeping those delicious endorphins and serotonin levels coursing through my body.
• Accept my life as it is and figure out which goals of mine are realistic. Don't take on too much. Meditate. Learn to calm myself down and lower stress. Don't overcommit. Do make time for friends and family when possible and healthy. Don't give myself guilt trips for not accomplishing every single thing I have ever considered.
  
• Sleep as regularly as possible. Try to cut out naps (wah). Wake up around the same time each day.
• Don't get intimidated by the above goals! Any little bit I can do will help; the more I do, the better off I am.
  

I wish you all good health and happiness in 2009. I haven't been blogging as much because I haven't wanted to think too much about migraine while feeling well. No, I don't think I'll jinx myself or anything; it's just that, for the moment, I don't need this outlet as much. Oh, okay--and I think I'll jinx my current good fortune just a bit.

That being said, goodbye for now! Talk to you next year.

hope!

I had my much-anticipated appointment at one of our city's hospital's Mind-Body Institute today. The doctor met with me from 10:10 AM - 12 noon, uninterrupted, in a room lit with two small lamps. We talked the entire time about my health and my life (which he'd taken the time to read about already in the extensive intake forms they send to you before your appointment). I have a long list of things to do to help myself, all focused on regulating my serotonin levels and keeping them up. As I've seen a huge change in my pain and fatigue levels since beginning more frequent exercise nearly a month ago, I have the highest hopes that continuing to keep myself active, fit, and well-nourished will lead to less pain.

I'll write more about it later--I must go get new tires put on my car. But for now I just wanted to drop by and say that, for the first time, I have hopes of really improving my health and cutting migraines out of the picture most days of the month!

Love,
me

Dinah won't you blow, Dinah won't you blow...

WARNING: THIS POST MIGHT HAVE TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR THE NON-MUCUS-FRIENDLY OR FEINT OF HEART.

I have had this bout of sinusitis for at least (at least!) a week now. Despite a Z-pack, lots of rest, and some doctor-recommended over-the-counter meds, the cough and mucus are not going away as quickly as I'd expect. Ugh.

On Tuesday night, the night before my doctor's appointment, I was doing the routine nose-blow-before-bed move when, all of a sudden, liquid started coming out of my right nostril. A lot of it. For a few minutes, I continuously blew my nose and clear, very warm water (water?) came out of my right nostril. At first I couldn't help but be relieved: it seemed that as soon as this strange liquid was brought forth, the pain in my cheek and ear immediately became MUCH better. So much better. But then I got a little nervous. I've never seen anything like that happen before and even thought about calling J. to see if it'd ever happened to him. "Oh, you're worrying for nothing," thought I. After the few minutes of the clear stuff (which was nothing like mucus, mind you) coming out, it seemed the coast was clear. I sat on my bed cross-legged and--suddenly--plop! It was dripping from my nose and onto my pant leg. GROSS. A couple more tissues and everything was fine. As if it'd never happened.

I told the doctor about this episode because it seemed so strange to me. Okay, my cyberchondriac self knew the chances were slim, but couldn't there be a chance I was leaking cerebrospinal fluid? (I didn't voice this concern to the doctor, but I had voiced it to myself the night of the weirdness after a twenty minute internet search.) As I told her about the episode, she frowned and looked at me: "Well, since you edit medical documents, I'm guessing you might be a bit concerned about a cerebrospinal fluid leak?" "Yes!" (I didn't mention that I don't edit anything dealing with CSF leak ever and that it was a late-night Googling session that made me aware of the problem in the first place. Let her think I have professional interest.) She told me that she really doubted there was a CSF leak, but that if it happened again like that I should call her and make a trip to the ER. She said it was quite possible that the severity of my sinus problem could have meant that for days my mucus has been building up in my sinuses. I was staying well hydrated, and the water I was drinking wasn't able to mix well with the older, thicker, nastier mucus so the watery stuff was sort of building up behind the old, gross mucus. Once I cleared that old, super-green mucus out for the moment, the watery stuff was released in a gush. Maybe. (Yuck, right?) She then said, "And it's not as if you've had any head injury lately, right?" "Actually, I was in a car wreck in mid-November and had a minor head injury." Oh. Then let's keep an eye out just in case something else is up, kids!

The waterfall phenomenon has not happened again, but that doesn't mean I'm not keeping an eye (a nose?) out just in case.

And then tonight something strange happened. I have been feeling a bit better today--just a few coughs and much less need to blow my nose (though I certainly am obviously sick, both audibly and visibly). Had a migraine this morning (period-related) but Imitrex wiped it out immediately. I blew my nose before settling into bed when suddenly I realized I couldn't stop. Couldn't stop blowing my nose, that is. I spent five minutes blowing my nose, people--and everything was coming from the right nostril. It seemed each tissue must be my last, but within 2-3 seconds I could feel more coming immediately. Then the clear feeling for a second, then the need to blow my nose. (Here's when I go into even more detail, for those of you who are as gross as I and have continued reading this far!) The mucus was green but not as thick as it's been for the last few days. It was green and really thin and liquidy. And it kept coming. For 5-7 minutes. TWELVE tissues' worth.

Does anyone have any insight? I'm hoping this all can be easily explained. I have never had such a sinus problem last so long, so perhaps this is just par for the course when sinusitis has progressed as far as mine has.

Still--let me know your thoughts, even if you are as gross and crazy as I have sounded in this post!

Goodnight!

doctor's diagnosis: sinusitis

I was nervous to go to the doctor today. I called around to a few clinics and urgent care centers yesterday afternoon to see what places could take me soonest and at what price. Despite reading a couple lackluster reviews for the health center closest to me, I booked an appointment anyway. Were I needing to see someone about Migraine, perhaps I would have been a bit more cautious. But since I was going in to get some antibiotics for a seemingly routine sinus infection, I figured it wouldn't hurt to see a family doctor and hope for the best. The initial appointment is only $50 (over $110 cheaper than my second option, and 4 miles closer to my house!); after that, you pay on a sliding scale based on income information you provide to the clerk. The maximum payment for a doctor's visit is $50, however. Awesome.

It's been over two years since I had a good, old-fashioned, regular (read: non-neurologist, non-ER) doctor's appointment and I was pretty nervous. I prepare myself for a meeting with someone who might not be a good listener, who might not be warm and caring. Despite his being warm and kind, my former neurologist was not the best listener--his NPs were atrocious, but that's a whole other story.

This feels silly, to be basking in the glow of a great doctor's appointment. Who does this? Someone who has been treated as if she were just another routine appointment to check off the list during a very long, very typical day? I'm not sure. Someone who's used to people trying to play her (contractors for home improvements, car repair folks, insurance companies)? Maybe. In any case, I was really happy with almost every aspect of my time spent at the place.

First off, I must give props (ew--I've never said that before and hope never to again; I'll keep it in to remind myself of that solemn oath) to the receptionist I spoke with yesterday afternoon when making the appointment. She heard how stuffed up I was and was really warm and very helpful: "Oh, honey, you don't sound good! Let me see if I can squeeze you in tomorrow morning. And I'll call you if something opens up this afternoon!"

Despite my better intentions, I drove to the center instead of walking. Hey, it was raining and I felt sick and the .9 mile drive probably didn't kill the environment all that much. By the time I left, the rain was POURING down and I was grateful to have a car. I walked in to a room half-full of families of various races. Seemed most people had colds or the flu--it is a rainy December, after all. The guy at the desk was really friendly, even when I walked up to the window after an hour to ask when I would be seen. Yeah, that was the frustrating part--my ten o'clock appointment ended up being at 11:05. Alas. Luckily I didn't have anything better to do than sit and read.

Oh, oh! The WAITING ROOM! I'd brought my red-tinted shady glasses to protect my little eyeballs and brain from the inevitable fluorescent lights, and guess what? The waiting room was softly lit with low-wattage incandescent bulbs. Oh, what a relief, especially when the wait was a bit long! Even my highly revered neurologist, a headache specialist, has glaring fluorescents in the waiting room. (I really don't mean to rag on him and his staff so much--apparently I have some pent-up bitterness!)

I got weighed and was a bit disappointed--turns out the post-Zonegran weight I successfully gained has, for the most part, dropped off again. Still technically underweight by a couple pounds, but I don't look creepy-skinny or anything. Not at all. I waited in the exam room for a while between nurse and doctor visits, but I passed the time by reading an outdated People--I hadn't realized just how bad the writing and stories and fluff had gotten! Not my style. The doctor walked in and I immediately felt a sense of relief--she was young, smiling, and genuinely apologetic about the supposedly atypical wait. She seemed knowledgeable about Migraine disease, patiently listened to my whole story of the cold-turned-sinus-trouble, and made some OTC drug recommendations as she prescribed an antibiotic. I mentioned something else troublesome to her and she was really comforting and helpful on that front, too--more on that later. For now I'm freaking myself out a bit over a symptom that could very well be nothing, so I'll just wait it out 'til I forget about it again.

All in all, I was really pleased--can you tell? What a sense of relief! How great to have a ten- or fifteen-minute appointment with a doctor who listens, who's friendly, and who didn't act like I was crazy when I mentioned weird symptoms I was concerned about. Three cheers for new doctor! I have a checkup next week. If I'm still this infatuated, maybe she will become my regular family doctor! Yippee.

Very sleepy and very sinusy and very drugged up.

No significant migraine pain for eight days, kids. EIGHT DAYS! True I have this sinusitis frustration, but it sure does beat a migraine episode!