The Spoon Theory

I have used very similar analogies in the past, but this author, Christine Miserandino, uses spoons as a metaphor for the limited amount of energy she has each day as a sufferer of lupus.

Reading this, I teared up at several points. It reminds me of something I once wrote regarding how I have to plan each step of my day and contemplate every little decision, always hyper-aware that an everyday occurrence could be the trigger for my next Migraine.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/

Check it out. I think anyone reading my blog will find it a good, sad, realistic read.

fifth time's a charm...right?

I've had the worst streak I've had in awhile. Sure, there've been days I've had some mild pain day after having been icky for a while prior. But today marks the fourth day in a row of having a moderate Migraine headache--and since I'm not supposed to take triptans more than two days a week, I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. (Sorry for the cliche--can you blame a half-wit like migraineous me for not coming up with original witticisms?)

You all saw how I bitched (justifiably, I know--thanks for the reassurance!) on Wednesday about that sudden Migraine headache. I had high hopes that I'd filled my quota for the week then, but no such luck.

Flying into Virginia Thursday was uneventful, but as soon as I was in the car headed from the airport to my our hotel, the sure-fire symptoms began. Took half of an Imitrex (despite the label's order not to split them, I figured I'd cut the 100mg pill and take around 50 mg, thinking that'd be enough to kill the headache) and lay down. The pain was mostly gone in an hour or so. The next day, Friday, I woke up with a headache again but pretended it wasn't there. After all, it was a spa day for my cousin, my aunt, my mom and me! Surely a massage and a facial would heal me right up. Wrong. The pain got worse at lunch, post-spa, and I popped the other half of that Imitrex.

I took a nap at my aunt's and woke up feeling headache-free but extremely groggy and antisocial--not good when there was a casual dinner party over here and I was trying to be much more animated than I felt. (I failed my own test.)

Today I felt bad again but couldn't break the rule even further--after all, Friday marked the third day in a row having a triptan, and I couldn't face the possibility of a rebound headache by taking another triptan. So...I took a nap, my third one in three days. Woke up feeling rested, but the pain returned and is sitting here now, running up and down the left side of my neck, behind my cheekbone, and behind my left eye. An old, obnoxious acquaintance setting up house once again.

I'm traveling. The weather is fluctuating greatly here in VA, and my period ended today. The pollen and allergens in the air are icing on the cake.

I can't wait to feel good again. I realize I ain't got nothin' on the chronic daily headache or Daily Persistent Headache folks, but man! I've had quite enough!

Migraine & travel

Tomorrow morning--ahem, THIS morning--I'll leave my house early to drive to the airport in rush hour traffic. My mom and I are flying to Virginia together to spend some time with my aunt and my cousins; it should be nice.

Despite my intense, feverish addiction to travel, I often dread the first day of it. Getting up on time, worrying that I have neglected to pack something, not sure if I'll make it to the airport in time, sitting under fluorescent lights in the gate area, the air pressure shifts in the plane, etc., etc.--all of these factors combine and, more often than not, result in a Migraine attack.

For this trip, I didn't follow step one of my own advice, but I think I'm doing well with the rest of it.

Tips for traveling migraineurs:

1. Get organized a couple of days before you go. This way, you'll feel less stressed regarding the packing process and will remember to add forgotten items, as you'll have more time to realize you've not packed them. For me, counting out all the pills and vitamins I'll need during the trip (adding on an extra day's worth for good measure!) is the first step I take. Too often I've been on vacation and reached for the medicine bottle only to remember it's still in my cabinet hundreds of miles away!

2. For people like me who know fluorescent lighting is a trigger: If you're staying in a hotel or with friends/family, ask your host about the lighting situation. Will there be fluorescent lights at the hotel? Request incandescent bulbs IN ADVANCE or else your home away from home won't be as comforting and healthy as you'd like. Will there be fluorescents at your friend's or family's house? Ask them if they could pick up a few incandescents on their next shopping trip--you'll pick up the tab. And remember: always have your eyewear to protect yourself from unavoidable lighting!

For those of you with phonophobia and/or trouble sleeping: bring earplugs! You never know what will be happening around you, and missing out on good sleep will drive any person crazy--and it will make it more likely you have a migraine episode.

3. Have all your medication packed in your CARRY-ON bag. In the rare chance your luggage is lost or delayed, you can't afford to screw up your schedule, especially since your normal life routine has been shifted around for the day.

4. Have abortive meds nearby--in your pocket or in an easily accessible part of your carry-on bag. No worrying that you have to wake up the snoring man next to you in order to get your meds from the overhead bin--just keep them very close! Even if you don't have an episode, you'll be comforted by the proximity of your salvation.

5. Tell yourself (and your traveling companions, if applicable) you have Migraine disease, and tell them when you're nearing your limit or when you won't be able to participate. Don't eat foods that are on your list of triggers just because a very charming hostess has offered them up to you. Don't go to the amusement park if a long, hot day in the sun will make you sick. Be honest with yourself so you can best enjoy your free time, and don't try to pack in too many things without scheduling in some down time.

6. Carry some granola bars or other healthy snack with you to combat low blood sugar. Most of us know by now that skipping meals is a sure-fire migraine trigger for most. Keeping a snack or three in your purse or carry-on bag could very well save you from having a Migraine attack when you're rushing to and fro and have no time to get a meal.

I'm sure I could ramble on, but I'll leave it at that. I was going to write another post for this here Migraine Blog Carnival, but since I'm leaving in a few hours' time, I have travel on my mind.

Speaking of that, I need to take my own advice and remind myself that it's time for bed. ;)

GRRRRRR: a pointless rant

Ow. My head is stuffy and it hurts. I sat under fluorescent lights for hours yesterday and today doing work, hatted but with little benefit. My head feels full of cotton. There's throbbing pain between my eyes. I am sleepy. I am mad. I have so much to do.

Love from a girl who sounds like she's 7 years old when a Migraine attack's coming on.

the face of rejection

That's me, all right. With renewed hope and energy, I applied for an insurance plan yet again a few weeks back. Last week an agent from the insurance company called me to talk about the medications I am on now (as well as the ones I have taken for the past three years). I was honest and straight-forward while also telling the extremely helpful agent how much this would change my life, to actually have insurance again. I told her how I hadn't even had to fill my triptan prescriptions yet because of all the free samples my doctor gives. I told her how I'd weaned myself off of some expensive drugs months ago and had no interest in starting them again. I assured her that I was still taking measures to prevent Migraine attacks, but that instead of being expensive pharmaceuticals, they're herbs and vitamins I pay for out of my own pocket.

She spoke as if I would be covered. I assume that tone is easier to take, rather than beginning each explanatory sentence with, "If you are chosen as someone we'll cover, then this is how it will work..."

I had high hopes. I thought that THIS time it would work. My hopes were diminished a bit when she ended the call by saying, "All right, Janet, I'll report all this information to our underwriters and get back to you." Underwriters look at the number of meds and the various diagnoses you have. In my experience, they don't really factor in how badly someone could be helped by insurance--that would chop their profits in half, I'm sure, were they to accept those that needed it for frequent care.


In any case, I got a letter back on Saturday afternoon, indicating that the decision was made by the underwriters almost instantly. After all, they must have sent the letter the day I spoke with the agent, given the turnaround time. The answer? NO. The reason? A history of chronic Migraine disease and various prescriptions medications on my record prevented me from being approved.

Duh, that's why I need it.

I've been putting off watching Michael Moore's Sicko since I've been pretty sure it'd really piss me off. I think I'm ready to be really angry about this. Maybe I'll rent it this week.

GRRR!

The King of Migraines

I've read about Elvis having had severe Migraine problems before; I've read on reputable health websites that many of the drugs found in his system during the autopsy were treatments (both OTC and not) for his Migraine disease.

This article, though nearly a decade old, tells how the medical community and reporters found out about Elvis's health information.

http://www.migraines.org/new/news9904.htm

Interesting. Sad.

(photo courtesy of www.elvispresleynews.com/ElvisMedicalReport.html)

dilated pupils, anyone?

Only recently did I stumble upon a strange phenomenon: I am of the belief that my pupils dilate when I'm having a Migraine attack. Has this happened to anyone else?

Here's a photo of my eyeball taken when I'm feeling fine.

Here's a photo taken IN THE SAME LIGHT
when I'm in the midst of a Migraine attack.

to assuage my omnipresent guilt

Couple of things:

1. I have been getting the most amazing, encouraging comments from lots of you who read this. I can't tell you how much it means to me to open my blog and see that I have new comments. You all are wonderful; we're so fortunate that we can support each other in the midst of our frustrations.

That being said, I have to admit something else: I feel terribly sad/guilty/anxious each time I get a new comment and don't acknowledge it. The feedback keeps me going in the worst of times, but I can't get it together to write back to everyone who's commented. (And no, it's not because there are millions and millions of comments, it's just that I'm tired. Or lazy. Or busy. Or headachey. Or all four.)

So let this be my thanks to you, people who read and comment and people who read and move on. Thank you.

2. And speaking of of thanks, I decided on a new thing that could help me cope better with that whole guilt issue I mention here and in previous entries. THANK YOU CARDS! I have only written three or four cards to employers and a couple of local friends--after that I just got pooped. But writing a quick note to say thanks to those who are supporting you just makes you feel all warm and mushy inside. And imagine how the recipients will feel! I have friends who feel as if they can't do enough for me; they get angry with themselves when they can't take care of me as much as they want to. They become irritated by the fact that there's no cure for this. These friends will especially love to get a quick thank you note.

Thanks for being there for me.

Thanks for helping me out.

Thanks for lending a kind ear.

Whether or not I'm in pain, it's such a comfort to know I can turn to you.

All that jazz. You get the drift. So if you're someone who wants to make someone's day (or at least their hour), grab some preprinted thank you cards (having them say "thank you" already saves you time and energy--making your own is good, too!) and write some quick messages to friends next time you're watching a movie or sitting on the porch.

Goodnight.

Love from the girl who can't stop sneezing! Stupid allergies...

good morning, migraine girl

Just another morning here. Omega-3 (fish oil), 4 B2 pills,

500mg of magnesium, a multivitamin, and a sinus pill + Naproxen to
combat the weather (those last two are rare bonuses!).

creativity and migraine?

I'm going to write an article for a weekly paper about the relationship (or lack thereof) between disorders such as Migraine disease, bipolar disorder, depression, etc. and creativity. If anyone has any feedback they'd like to give, I'd love to read it!

Thanks.

Have a migraine as we speak, so I'm going to lie down again.