travelin' again

I'm leaving for Central America today. I'll spend the first week at a medical document editing workshop (wowsers), supposedly from 8 AM - 6 PM Monday through Friday. Please let it not be that intensive, as sitting in [what I presume will be] a fluorescently-lit room and talking about editing all day sounds rather...overwhelming? (And I'm the sort of dork who likes to talk about punctuation and spelling!)

Last time I was in Central America, I had one migraine in six weeks. Did you hear that, kids? One big'un in six weeks--and that was the day I found out my grandmother had died. I won't have the same liesurely schedule as that 2004 trip, and I'm only staying for 2 weeks and not six. But maybe...maybe...Costa Rica & Panama are the answer!

Wish me luck. I'll keep you posted if I have the means and inclination.

an unexpected (but unsurprising) side effect of Migraine

Sorry to not have much original content on this post and the last one, but this story caught my eye! I have oft said I wish I had an extra-strength prescription in my glasses for when I'm getting a Migraine--my vision gets worse during my aura and the headache itself.

http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/news/x1657300501/Police-say-migraine-led-to-Trolley-Square-crash

beautiful pain

Did you guys read about this? I've been a lifelong opponent to plastic surgery (if it's for cosmetic reasons), but maybe I'll change my mind now that it may have an added bonus!

Thursday is TODAY

Well, as I suspected, the pattern continues. I felt really great this afternoon and, the moment I realized how great I felt, tried to push the thought of an impending Migraine attack. (As I've mentioned before, I often feel wonderful right before my head pain sets in.) J. and I went grocery shopping and it was at the store I started feeling light-headed and icky. An hour later, I was home but not any worse for the wear. I managed to tidy up very slightly for this evening's book club meeting at my house and even baked some brownies and made guacamole!

Around 9:15 or so, the blurry vision took ahold and the left side of my head started feeling...well...not right. I don't tend to consciously feel my head when I'm well; it's only when I'm coming down with a Migraine attack (or head cold, for that matter) that my body remembers my head is even there.

It's 10:30 and I am going to lie down in bed after taking an Imitrex and my nightly regime of pills.

Somehow I'm comforted by the fact that the Thursday Migraines are getting predictable. This logic seems screwy--I don't want to EXPECT them, but I do want to be prepared. Oddly enough, Thursday has been my favorite day of the week since I was little. I intend to keep it that way--Migraine, you will not get me down!!!

Thursdays are the new Migraine Days

For the past few weeks, I've been feeling okay (not great) most days but terrible on Thursdays. I don't usually work on Fridays, so maybe the famous weekend headache is kicking up on Thursday since that's when relaxation time is *supposed* to begin.

In the last hour, I found out that the editing company I now work for wants me to do an editing project in less than 24 hours. I'm working on a project already, have to work this evening at the storytelling job, and have to babysit tomorrow during the day.

I sucked it up and told them no.

A revised due date of Friday was proposed, and I said yes if I could have it done by 3. I know that tomorrow (Thursday) evening is shot since I'm having a book club meeting over here, and I'm not sure how I'll be feeling before or after that meeting. (Who knows if I'll be okay during it? I've been cancelling Thursday activities for the last few weeks...)

My personal frustrations with this situation aren't what I want to focus on here. I guess what I want to highlight is the fact that a frequent migraineur must pull into account SO many factors when making a decision, especially a decision that will affect others' lives or work. I am a dependable person most of the time, but this disease has crippled me in that I often live in fear of disappointing someone by missing a deadline or a meeting.

Oh, blah.

Time to start working while I can!

my take on pinhole glasses

The folks at Pinhole Glasses Direct were kind enough to send me a complimentary pair of pinhole eyeglasses so I could review them on my blog. I got the pair three or four weeks ago and have been wearing them in different settings to see how I feel.

I'd had hopes of writing a glowing review for the pinhole glasses, but I didn't love them. First off, the frames are too small--I was not sure if the pair I was sent was the default size or if I'd accidentally been shipped a kid's pair. In any case, big-headed Janet was displeased with the look and feel of the glasses. We migraineurs know that anything gripping on your head can be reason enough to take it off.

Yet I persevered. I first tried watching TV with the glasses. I had read that pinhole glasses take a little getting used to, so I held out and kept watching the screen. Within minutes I started getting that dull ache in the upper left corner of my left eye; this discomfort is often the precursor to a Migraine attack, so I took 'em off.

My beau wanted to see what all the fuss was about (I'd told him about expecting the package with the glasses and wanting to see if they helped my vision, so he knew the premise and what the glasses are supposed to do). J. wore the frames for a minute but took them off almost immediately, complaining of the discomfort they caused him. Just now, a few weeks after initially trying them on, I had J. put them on his face again and tell me how they felt. And I quote: "They hurt me in between my eyes--like when you force yourself to go cross-eyed and it hurts right there [points between his eyes right above the bridge of his nose]? That's how it feels when I look through them. It makes me feel the same feeling you get when you're getting a Migraine." I laughed a moment ago when he said this to me. "Why are you laughing?" he asked. "Because that's pretty much exactly what I just wrote about them!"

I put the pinhole glasses on again while driving to work one morning. My vision felt too obscured to safely drive; I couldn't focus on my periphery or even what was in front of me and took them off after less than a block. Maybe driving with the glasses takes getting used to (just as watching TV with them does), but it seems entirely unsafe to practice wearing vision-blocking glasses as you drive a motor vehicle. If you're going to practice wearing them in a car, make sure you're a passenger.

When I got to the house where I babysit, I showed the kids my new glasses and asked them if they'd be interested in trying them on and telling me what they thought. The three-year-old danced around in them for a second and then handed them back. The five- and seven-year-olds told me--without my leading the witnesses--that they felt like they couldn't see with them on.

The frames are cheap, clear plastic reminiscent of a 1989 pair of shades. The pinhole shades are plastic pieces that pop out pretty easily--be sure to carry your glasses in a case!

Man, I feel like I'm being so rough in this review! I told the contact person from the company that I only wanted the glasses if my review was welcome despite its contents. She assured me that both good and bad reviews were welcome, so...here I am, with a not-so-spectacular review.

One thing the glasses are supposed to do is help you focus on things far away. At this they perform pretty well. I just experimented yet again with them as I looked out the window. My head and eyes started to feel funny after just a minute so I took them off again, but they worked while they were on! I looked at leaves on trees pretty far from my window with and without the glasses on. If I could peer through just one pinhole at the tree, I could see details down to the individual leaves. This is not possible for me without glasses, so in that way they helped. If you're having trouble with seeing far away, it might not be a bad idea to keep a pair of these around for stationary viewing of an object. When you have to move or when the object you're looking at is moving, be prepared for eye and head discomfort.

Overall, I would not recommend the pinhole glasses to my fellow migraineurs and/or those whose eyes and/or scalps are particularly sensitive.

my near-death experience

Today I had one of those Migraine attacks during which I felt so awful and so sick that I gave up all my hopes and dreams and figured there's no chance in hell I'll ever accomplish even one-tenth of what I want to do. I lay in bed, afraid to move for fear of waking the nausea beast. My duties weighed heavily on my mind: call the leasing agent to talk about the bookstore; talk to the staff at the shelter about tutoring adults; clean the house; make sure everyone knows tonight's girls' night is canceled; send off those letters I keep forgetting about; make sure I have all my meds and clothes packed for this weekend's trip; oh my god I have nothing to wear to the high school reunion Saturday; oh my god why do I care?

As you can guess, it was hard for me to fall asleep and rest.

While babysitting this morning, my head acquired that good ol' stuffy feeling it's been getting most days for the last several months. Driving in the car, E., the three-year-old, was singing to herself in the backseat and her higher-pitched words pierced my ears. "Oh no," I thought, "is this the beginning?" An hour later, I was leaving the kids' house and my vision felt blurry. I tried to ignore the signs, for oftentimes they end up melting away into nothing and I feel fine and migraine-free.

That was not the case today.

I decided I needed a power nap. I woke up feeling less sleepy but more achey. I called the mom of the kids I babysit as I made soup, leaving a message in which I asked if I could call off for the afternoon. I had a Migraine and it didn't seem to be going away. If she needed me to come, I could, but I'd probably want to lie on the couch while the kids played.

I sat down with my bowl of hot soup and dipped my spoon in. The first time I brought it to my mouth, a wave of nausea overtook me and I thought I'd be sick. I stood up to ready myself for that disgusting trip to the bathroom but was too dizzy to stand. In the space of ten minutes, my Migraine had gone from tolerable to utterly debilitating. I cancelled the babysitting date for good and lay down for hours. HOURS. Two Imitrex pills, one Naproxen, and several mini-naps later, I emerged feeling woozy but pain-free.

Now I don't feel so despondent and hopeless, but today's episode did give me pause. Most Migraine attacks are ones that I can medicate quickly and all but cure. This one and the one I had two weeks ago were especially resistant to treatment, and I wondered what I'll do when one of these stubborn ones come on while I'm a bookstore owner. Who will take over last-minute? Can I put a "Back in 5...hours" sign on the door? These are issues I definitely have to work out, but I cannot--CANNOT--let them stop me from opening my business. Right?

a new (to me) resource: an oldie but goodie

As you may know, plans are in the works for me to open up my own indie bookstore some time next year. This is a frightening prospect but--for the most part--gives me a sense of excitement and purpose unlike anything I've felt in the last few years, at least as far as work goes. Yeehaw!

Part of my self-assigned duties involves my going to established independent bookstores and taking a look around; if a manager or owner is on duty, I introduce myself and have a little chat. It's been fun as the information people are willing to provide me is, in short, priceless.

While in Pittsburgh in July, my dad led me to a cozy, well-staffed radical bookstore in Bloomfield where I browsed the aisles in the hopes of finding something inexpensive and interesting to buy. (Even the smallest purchase helps the independent bookstores of the world, so consider shopping at these places if you want to keep .... okay. I'll get down from the soapbox. You can guess how I feel about this.) I purchased Illness as Metaphor by Susan Sontag, a piece I read--at least in part--in college. I also discovered a little book called Headache Survival while browsing the health section; it was only a few bucks and I made the investment.

Let me just tell you how much I already love this book. The author, Ivker, has been at the helm for a few books of this type (another one in his collection is Arthritis Survival; still another talks about sinusitis), which initially made me skeptical. I started reading the book a few weeks after buying it and am consistently surprised at how UN-annoyed I am with his tone. Many books that proclaim themselves to be potential cures for Migraine & other headache take this obnoxious tone, a sort of holier-than-thou feel that patronizes the reader and often makes him/her feel as if he/she would be just plain stupid to ignore the author's advice. This book does not fit in that category. Ivker is personable, friendly, and seems to genuinely want to help. He assures us that there is probably a way out there to make headaches better, but that no one method works for everyone and that it's extraordinarily difficult to figure out what pattern of treatment works for you. Unlike some who believe in so-called "alternative medicine," Ivker does not eschew the possibility that pharmaceutical treatments can help Migraine. In fact, he wants you to keep your traditional doctor informed all the way and include your prescription drugs as part of the treatment plan if they help you.

I haven't finished the book yet--I may never complete it, as in order to do what he recommends I'll need to use it as resource for many years to come. But I am enjoying reading it. For the first time in years, I feel a sense of optimism as I'm reading about recommended diets, treatments, exercises, etc. that have been known to help other migraineurs. Of course I carry along that die-hard Geddis skepticism, but that is tempered with a not so small part of me that thinks there's weight to what is being said, that I could be on the brink of major improvement.

I'll keep you posted.

get in shape, girl...

My procrastination has gotten OUT OF CONTROL. I acquired this handy little iPod Touch recently, and I thought I'd mainly use it for music (duh) and for keeping myself on schedule--it has all my Mac's contacts and iCal appointments stored on it. Clever, eh?

Let me tell you what's not so clever: THE FIFTY THOUSAND FREE APPLICATIONS YOU CAN DOWNLOAD TO IT. I must have wasted a good hour of my life over the last couple of days playing with silly Tetris-like games, Tetris itself, and a silly (yet endlessly entertaining) bouncy ball game.

The insanity must end.

Love,
The laziest person in America

the big chop

I've mentioned before how sensitive I am when it comes to my scalp. My hair has been growing longer and longer, perhaps longer than it's ever been before. On its best days, it looks tousled and pretty. On its worst (read: average) days, it's slightly frizzy and unkempt. Invariably, wearing it down means I soon try to pull it back away from my face in a casual, loopy bun. The weight of the bun has increased over time, making it so I have to obsessively redo the bun every few minutes to see if I can minimize the pulling on my scalp.

When I wear my hair up--even with lots of support from pins and so-called "scrunchies," it starts to yank on my head and I soon must take it down. In May, I was a bridesmaid who had to wear her hair up. There was enough the drama/trauma brought into my life that day just from the bun-making process alone--suffice to to say I can't create an up-do to save my life. But as the hours ticked on, the bun felt tighter and pulled more and more on my scalp, especially at the crown. The moment I was done with all the photographic obligations, you can bet I yanked all those bobbypins and ponytail holders out and popped a Maxalt. Ow.

It's August in Georgia. Do any of you know what that means? August. In Georgia. 100 degree heat, very high humidity. I'm not wearing my hair down to save my life, but wearing it up means a Migraine attack.

So what did I go and do today? I chopped it.

Even if I end up not liking how the cut looks, at least I know I love the weightlessness of it!

The end.

shaky but alive

It's 4 PM and the headache is finally gone. I feel half-woozy, shaky, and a little out of it--but that's so much better than being in pain!

That's my update for you. Now I'm off to run necessary errands in the 98 degree heat. Wish me luck!

longest, most resistent attack in quite awhile

Early Thursday evening, my brain started to fluctuate between pre-migraine mode and healthy mode. As I sat on the phone with my sister around eleven p.m., mild, steady pain and congestion set in and I decided to go to bed in the hopes that sleep would restore me to normalcy. I woke up around 6:30 the next morning and took a Maxalt. Two hours later, I was on the way to the my babysitting charges' house and took another, as the first did nothing to help. The pain dissipated soon after, and I had a VERY sleepy morning with E., the three-year-old I was watching all day while her brothers and parents went to Six Flags. I felt bad for being so out of it, but that's what Maxalt does--especially when I have to take two. E. and I watched Sesame Street and I lay down, trying to relax a bit.

In the afternoon, we went to my house to meet up with Jim. Later we headed to a local park where there's a swimming beach and small lake. The sand was so bright, the reflection of the sun off the water was blinding my eyes even though I had a hat pulled low over my head. I knew the Migraine was on its way back. It set in in earnest that evening and I fell asleep after E. went to bed, waiting for her family to get home so I could get to my own bed.

My Maxalt allowance is three per 24 hours, though I very rarely take more than one (let alone two) in a day. I took one before bed because the pain was distracting me from sleep.

Around 4 AM, I woke up with a groggy head but no pain!
At 9, I woke up for real and felt like crap.

The pain had come back. Three Maxalts, one Naproxen, one Lortab, and lots of sleep didn't cure this menstrual migraine. It hasn't been this bad in such a long time! I made a pot of coffee and took a nasal decongestent this morning and feel much better, but not up to par. I had to cancel an important bookstore meeting at noon and said no to hanging out with a friend. Tonight is my friends' wedding reception (they got married last week) and I really hope I'm well enough to go.

The end.