Tomorrow I'm going to see my neurologist. I am pretty damned nervous about this.
Don't get me wrong here: I really like my neurologist. I respect him. He's friendly, he's kind, he's patient, he's smart, and he listens. He's been willing to give me as many samples as I've needed since I've not had prescription coverage. The nurse practitioners who work with him can sometimes be a little short with me, but let's face it--I don't answer their questions, questions that are supposed to have one-word or numerical answers, the way I'm supposed to. I'm probably not the most simple patient for them to deal with. Who knows?
In any case, this is not my point. My point? I'm nervous. I'm anxious. And I'm trying to pinpoint the reasons why.
What if I don't ask him all the questions I mean to ask?
What if I forget to bring the phone number for the new pharmacy I'm using?
What if in rating my headache pain and frequency on that Likert scale they use I inadvertently make it seem as if my Migraine attacks have been far better or worse than they've actually been?
What if I ask him about the elimination diet, am displeased with the brevity of his answer, and am too timid to ask him for more information?
What if, what if, what if?
Mainly I worry about forgetting something during my expensive, all-too-rare neurologist appointment and know that I won't get to talk to the doctor himself again without booking an appointment a month in advance, using 3/4 a tank of gas to get to his office, and paying $135.
And it'll all be okay.