the elimination diet

Has anyone ever tried this to see if he/she can better identify Migraine triggers? Did it work for you? I'm thinking of trying this but am not sure I'm sold on this approach. Feedback would be really useful if you've got a chance to give me some. Relevant websites would also be most helpful.

Thank you!

pushing the menstrual migraine out of the picture

In late October, I had my regular checkup with my neurologist. I let him, as well as the nurse practitioner, know how horrifically painful my menstrual Migraine had become. The night before my period comes, the pain sets in behind my eyes, following a brief aura marked by blurry vision and eye twitching. It's a Migraine, all right, but its pain is different somehow, different from the other Migraines I get the rest of the month. I get it in the evening and, sure enough, my period's there the next morning.

Six days later, the pain will start to recede. Hundreds of dollars in medication later, I start to function moderately normally again.

As I've probably said before, I can't do what a lot of women who have menstrual problems do: because I have Migraine with aura, it's dangerous for me to take the combination pill (birth control), which could help lighten my periods and therefore lessen the pain. So I have to muster through it, right?

Wrong. There are options. And my doctor presented one to me.

I'm at the end of my cycle now, and I've not had the menstrual Migraine that's plagued me for at least a decade. I can't believe how great I feel. Starting two days before my menstrual headache begins, I take Frova once a day; twice a day I take Naproxen. Now that my period's gone, I can stop the regimen and not take these drugs again until my next period.

I can't believe the menstrual Migraine's not here. Something I saw as an inescapable reality has been, for at least this month, escaped.

stories from the moneyless trenches, or, "well, that certainly explains a lot."

For numerous reasons, I just compiled a list of all my out-of-pocket medical expenses for 2006. For the first three-quarters of 2006, mind you. Before I reveal how much of my own cash I've dished out to pay for treatment, over-the-counter medication, and the ridiculously overpriced prescription medication I rely on to function somewhat normally, keep the following tidbits in mind:

1. I have had a health insurance plan all year. True that it switched last month, but I've been covered all year, and total money I've spent, the total I'm set to reveal, does not include health insurance plan costs. My sweet parents helped their then-student daughter with that burden.

2. I have had a health insurance plan all year. But I still pay exorbitant amounts for prescription drugs. That's all I'll say about that.

3. I'm only counting costs of things for which I could find receipts. Those of you who know me well know that I am not the best at holding onto small bits of paper with teensy numbers written on them, so who's to say what I might be forgetting?

4. I don't have a steady source of income. Seeing this number might not seem like much to you, but when you think of how I only work a handful of hours a week and have not even a steady part-time job (let alone a full-time one), it might hit home that this amount of money is what it takes me to make in surprisingly lengthy periods of time. But finally it makes sense to me why I don't have money--it's true that I spend almost everything I have on Migraines. Yay, head! Suck up my money! Yeehaw. (It's true that seeing this grand total, though shocking, is a source of some relief--at least I know that I had money at some point, and that it wasn't all a dream.)

Okay, here we go: $2,625.

*I mean my tone to be matter-of-fact, not whiny.

ten days and counting

I'm used to having a minor headache every morning and evening, but a full-blown Migraine headache each and every day for the last ten days? Give me a break! I called my neurologist a few days ago and asked for even more Relpax--my prescription ran out a bit ago but I keep having to order more to fill in the gap of time until I can go see him for my appointment in four weeks. Usually eighteen pills (three boxes at ungodly prices per box) would last me awhile. The first of the eighteen I asked for a few weeks ago. The most recent batch of six I bought from the pharmacy just three days ago--there are only two left, and I have 32 days until my appointment.

I'm going to have to call and beg for more.

I'm going to have to get the seasons to stop changing so that the weather doesn't aggravate my head.

I'm going to have to get the rain to stop coming and going as it does so that the barometric pressure doesn't wreak havoc on my brain.

I'm going to have to find something to do before I become a drugged-up hermit forever.

a surprise in the mail

I got a bill from the place where I got my MRI in late June. My insurance didn't cover the MRI, as it turns out. I owe $2,260.

Remember how I mentioned that I have $48 in the bank?

it's getting hot in here (so hot)

Does anyone else feel a slight increase in body temperature when a Migraine has set in (or while it's beginning to set in)? I don't know if this is something new with me or if I've just begun to notice it in the past several months, but it's probably something I should take note of.

The other night I was talking with my friend J., who has had her bouts with Migraine disease for quite a while now and only recently has become more informed about her ailment. She has a perhaps related (perhaps unrelated), as-yet undiagnosed thing going on where her temperature will suddenly go up and she cannot concentrate. Is this part of a Migraine aura? Is it connected to Migraine at all? She says her temperature only goes up one or two degrees, but it's enough that she cannot focus on whatever task is at hand and she feels immediately flustered and out of control. She has had lots of blood work and tests done; no doctors have figured out why her body temperature is so out of whack.

Since she was only recently diagnosed with Migraine, I'm wondering if the body temperature fluctuations are indeed related to Migraine--but since she hadn't been an "official" Migraineur until recently, doctors didn't have the wherewithal to connect the two elements. Or maybe I'm just making this leap since my own temperature has been up a degree or so during Migraine episodes in the last few months (or longer).

Any thoughts? I suppose I won't generate much feedback since I don't have readers. But I am curious--so if you're one of the few people out there who's looking at this, let me know if you have any thoughts on the matter!

Thanks!

a partner in crime

In her essay "In Bed," famous migraineur Joan Didion mentions how fortunate she is to have a husband who is also a Migraine sufferer. Don't get me wrong here: she's not grateful that he has to go through painful headache episodes. Rather, she highlights the invaluable importance of connecting with someone who understands that a Migraine is not "just a headache."

As a woman in my mid-20s who sees her default status as "single," it's always been hard for me to accept the idea of depending on someone else for assistance. This, in part, may be one of the reasons I've not actively sought after a boyfriend figure for many years. One hurdle I feel I am never ready to jump over is the Migraine revelation: in the words of All in My Head author Paula Kamen, I rarely feel comfortable or prepared enough to "come out" as a Migraineur. Men (or boys, as they case often was) who've heard about my CDH and Migraine disease have had a variety of responses, both long- and short-term. No one has responded in a deliberately negative fashion, thankfully. I've had the ones who react with the, "Yeah, we all get headaches, so why don't you just plow through it or take an Advil?" (but delivered politely). And I've talked with people who have been patient with me, wanting to do their best to help me through the pain but not really having any idea what I was going through. Maybe it was my fear, but I really felt as though they would not have wanted to stick around for real life with me: as much fun as my life often is, there is a darker side to it, a side where I am teary-eyed and blinded with pain, needing to be locked in my room with earplugs in as I try to block out the world. I don't think that anyone I've dated thus far has been prepared to stick around for that; I don't know if I've wanted any of them to be the ones to do it, either, so I'm not trying to badmouth them.

As I mentioned in my last entry, I started dating someone a few months ago. I believe it was during our first long conversation out on my screened in porch, only hours after we had met, that I went ahead and told him about my Migraines. (I could be wrong--maybe it was a couple of nights later--but it was very soon into the dating period for me, uncharacteristically soon, which speaks well of him and of my comfort level.) He told me that he, too, suffered from debilitating Migraines and had had them for decades. Fast forward three months later, and we have had the [un]fortunate opportunities to take care of one another during our times of illness: times when he felt so sick he had to lie down on the cool hardwood floor under the bed, times when I felt so awful I sobbed until he quietly held me and patiently explained how crying would probably increase the pressure in my head and make the pain worse, and could he make me some herbal tea instead?

Knowing that someone understands what I'm going through has made a world of difference. I do have friends who suffer from Migraines, friends with whom I discuss Migraine attacks, possible triggers, and medication. But in recent years I've not had someone there to help take care of me when I'm in severe pain, and it is turning out to be some of the best medicine around.

I'm still ill, and I don't think any one thing or one person will cure me: I'm beyond such wishful, nonsensical thinking. But I do find all these things to be grateful for that are all around me. I have only $48 in the bank right now, but I have a credit card that's not maxed out, so I can pay for my drugs when I need them, and I realize how fortunate that makes me. My friends and family will be there emotionally whenever I call for them and, quite often, when I don't. I think I do need to learn to call for them when I need the help they're so willing to provide.

As usual, I feel I've gone off on a tangent, so I'll close for now.

Goodnight.

it's been a long time...

I suppose I should address this blog to myself and not to my nonexistent readers. I started it as a tool to help myself and instead of sticking with it, I sort of let it fall by the wayside. No, I definitely let it fall by the wayside. I could chalk it up to the Great Computer Crash of 2006 (read: spilled a whole glass of water on my old laptop) or to lots of travel from May - July that interrupted my writing patterns, but I won't. I had plenty of time to write and didn't use it. I should have made it more of a daily thing and I didn't. And that's that.

From early June until mid-July, I had an amazingly wonderful time in my little old head. (Or, as the case may be, my oddly large head--though I am a thin young lady, I usually have to wear hats in size XL...hmm.) I could count on one hand the number of times I had to take a Relpax pill to take care of a Migraine attack, and my daily headache pain was at a nearly undetectable level. I tried to avoid a feeling of invincibility, but it sure was difficult: I felt GREAT!

Some of this had to do with the stress of school being over and done with. I finished all my course work and comprehensive exams for my Master's degree in early May. Maybe a couple weeks after that my body got used to the new feeling of not having school-related stress. I let go of some dating situations that were causing me grief, and maybe that contributed to my overall feelings of health. I also had had time to get used to the Zonegran, so maybe I was experiencing that wonderful period where my brain was working well with the new medication and getting along quite well with it. There often comes a time when new medicine kicks in, so to speak, and works really well. (Unfortunately, this miraculous period usually has an end.) A few weeks into feeling pretty good, I had the pleasure of beginning a new romantic relationship, one with a great deal more potential than any others I had had in the past several years. The accompanying feelings of euphoria (and the upped levels of serotonin that went along with that giddy beginning) probably helped, as well.

But in late July the pain returned a little bit, here and there. And in August it really made itself known. By late August and early September, I was having a really rough time of it yet again. I've been trying pretty hard not to take Relpax too often (see older entry regarding rebound headaches; also think of how expensive it is to purchase said medicine when your insurance doesn't cover prescription drug costs), and I've been aiming to break the drug cycle in general. This doesn't help the immediate pain, but I think it might help in the long run. (Of course when I feel the pain pass a certain threshold I most certainly do take a Relpax--I'm not going to torture myself when I know there's a way for me to feel better. I'm talking about the moderate levels of Migraine pain, not the severe ones.)

Point is: the pain levels have been fluctuating over the past months. I partly gave up on writing this blog for awhile because I got a bit cocky and figured that perhaps I was getting better at last. I need to realize deep down that CHRONIC PAIN IS A WAY OF LIFE for me. Some days I'll be able to control it better than others.

That's all for now.

"unusual thoughts" a side effect? then what will happen to someone like me who's never had a usual thought?

...especially when you get several of them within a few days of beginning the medicine!!!

Below I've copied a list of side effects for my newest drug, Zonegran. It's an anticonvulsant created to treat epileptic seizures, but it's also used for Migraine patients. Keep your fingers crossed. I, meanwhile, will be suffering from nausea. Ick.
(I've put in bold the side effects I'm feeling, having completed week 1 of treatment.)
"The most common side effects of Zonegran are drowsiness, loss of appetite, dizziness, headache, nausea, and agitation/irritability. These side effects usually occur within the first 4 weeks of therapy."

Luckily, I've not had any of the severe side effects listed below, but the ones in bold crack me up (and frighten me at the same time, of course).

Special Warning(s) with Zonegran:

Some people taking ZONEGRAN can get serious reactions including:

• Skin rash (may be a sign of a dangerous condition)
• Fever, sore throat, sores in your mouth, or bruising easily (may be signs of a blood problem)
• Sudden back pain, abdominal (stomach area) pain, pain when urinating, bloody or dark urine (may be signs of a kidney stone)
• Decreased sweating or a rise in body temperature (especially in patients under 17 years old)
• Depression
• Unusual thoughts
• Speech or language problems
• Drowsiness
• Difficulty concentrating
• Coordination problems

and after all that, I awoke with a Migraine...

The alarm went off at 8:05 even though my first official commitment of the day doesn't start until 7:30 PM. I snoozed a bit more than I intended to, but I felt as if that was forgivable since I hadn't fallen asleep until 2 AM or so.

I woke up, rolled out of bed, and a few minutes later finally acknowledged that the pain wasn't just morning grogginess, as I had naively hoped. No, kids, 'twas this: a morning Migraine. Dammit.