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02 November 2010

this strange sickness

I’m not used to having crappy days that aren’t migraine-related. This feeling is strange and uncomfortable—I almost expect to feel my head pounding when I stand up.

But I feel fine, physically speaking. My eyes are tired and I would love to curl up for a nap, but my head is okay and I’m not at all nauseated or headachey.

For someone who is used to chronic illness, it can be off-putting to feel sick for some other reason. Some reason that is, at least on the surface, unrelated to the usual culprit. Sometimes, during particularly bad migraine attacks, I think, “I would take any other ailment! Like, give me a sore throat or a cough, but get rid of this migraine!” When my yearly or biyearly cold comes around (as it always does), I curse my migrainous self. Sore throats KILL. Coughing so much that you can’t sleep is a form of agony all its own.

Now for this funk. I don’t want to be in the midst of a migraine episode at the moment, but at least in that case I’d have a reason for feeling lethargic and ever so blah, emotionally speaking.

This morning I woke in an uneasy mood. I hadn’t slept well due to loud noises outside my window. Have I mentioned I live within two hundred yards or so of an active train track? I can usually sleep through the whistles and chug-a-chugs, but when the conductors feel the need to couple their trains at 3 AM, this leads to horrifically loud crashing and banging. Imagine freight train cars slamming together hard enough to connect, and you’ll know what sorts of noises woke me up every few minutes in the night. The stress-infused nightmares didn’t help my mood upon waking.

Do you ever feel extra-out-of-sorts when you feel sick/depressed/blah/tired for reasons not attributable to your migraine? It’s really throwing me for a loop.

4 comments:

Emily said...

I haven't personally - I have been sick WITH the migraine, and that is sucky.

Hope that things improve soon. When I get in a funk, all I really need is ice cream & a funny movie. Probably mine is not as serious as what you're dealing with.

All the same, I hope the funk passes quickly!

themigrainegirl said...

I can only vaguely remember having the flu and a migraine at the same time. Yech. I hope that never happens again and certainly hope the same for you!

I took two long walks after writing this post and felt a lot more positive. Election days always get me worked up; think that played into it, too.

Good to hear from you. I know I've been quiet around here but have plans to write a lot more frequently coming up soon. Hope to be in better touch then!

Sue said...

I've had the flu (as in The Flu - not a head cold) for the past 8 days. Each day my head pain has elevated a bit more. I want to scream. As if having a head and chest full of goo and a fever and body aches weren't enough - I also get increasingly awful head pain.

Yay.

I SO understand this post. Hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

Hi there, never wrote on a blog before, but I felt compelled to write back to you on "this strange sickness" I've had it too, not sure now when it happened but it was recently - and if its any comfort, you are not the only one. Your words are exactly how I would describe it. I am 33 yrs old and have suffered migraines since I was 14 but I've been chronic now for about ten years. I used to notice the cold thing once or twice a year, usually at the oddest times, and for some reason my migraines would disappear (briefly) during my cold spell. Since then I seem to suffer the migraines with the cold or flu now. I also suffer from depression, due to the fact I suffer from chronic migraines and can no longer work or have a "normal job" or even a normal life for that matter. Anyways, I read your Nov. 2nd blog and for the first time I've found someone else who has felt exactly the same thing as myself. For whatever reason.

Thank you for sharing, though it is never a good thing that anyone should suffer migraines, at least we know and some how its a comfort to know we are not alone.

I'm also trying the mindfulness MBSR since the weather isn't getting better and neither am I and I've exhausted so many treatments I've lost count of them all, not to mention medications. I'll let you know if this new mediation works for me. Until then, know that you are not alone and thank you. (from CUDAGIRL)

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