a walk to ... forget.

In an effort to control the five trillion things that trigger my Migraine, I've made an attempt to wake up at a consistent hour for the last few weeks. The mornings have been refreshingly, surprisingly lovely. It's spring now, though it feels more like summer, and the morning hours are the perfect time to stroll downtown for coffee or open all the windows and listen to music before the heat sets in.

There was a short period of my life (last year or so) when I awoke with terrible head pain almost every day. Of course there'd be those few moments when I'd open my eyes, stretch, and feel that hope that accompanies a bright morning: "Is it true? Could I actually feel well today?" In a flash of eagerness, I'd swing my legs out of bed and feel a rush of blood and pain in my head before my feet even had time to hit the floor. Morning Migraine. At this stage in my ever-shifting life, the mornings are good for me and the Migraine sets in during the afternoon or evening, mimicking the pattern that has dominated my illness since I started getting severe headaches as an eighth grader 12 or so years ago.

The question is, what should do with these rare hours of sickness-free time? If I start on work (which is unlikely, since I'm the most infamous procrastinator of all), I end up with a stress-triggered headache very quickly. I want to have times where I can enjoy walks, cups of coffee, time with friends, and hours with books before the pain sets in. This is how I chose to indulge myself this morning. Woke up around 8, eventually walked to a bakery to meet a friend for breakfast, b.s.ed with some buddies who happened to stroll by, nearly finished the novel I'm reading this week, made some phone calls, and enjoyed the morning.

"Time to start the work for the day," I thought to myself as I pressed play on my little iPod and started to walk the mile back to my house. As I walked up the slight incline of my street, I could feel pressure behind my left eye and felt a dull pain rear up in my sinuses. "Ignoreitignoreitignoreit' was a chant going off in my head, so subtle and well-rehearsed that I barely would have noticed it if the pain didn't suddenly increase as I got closer to home, closer to work and closer to the hour when the daily headache usually sets in.

But, as I explained in previous entries, I don't feel free to take Relpax and Naproxen the moment a headache kicks in, as indicated by the label. When you have CDH (or even Migraines that are more frequent than a couple times a month), you're warned against abusing the drug for fear of dependence, rebound headache, and the eventual tolerance you'll build against the drug's effectiveness. The pain and discomfort, as usual, wax and wane depending on my activity level and approximately 4,231 other factors. Right now I am sitting with my back against the headboard, typing as I sit/lie in bed and hear birds chirp excitedly outside. The left side of my neck has a rope of pain that throbs at its own unpredictable schedule.

For now, I feel okay...