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01 March 2010

one of those days

Last night I said to J., "I feel really hopeful." "Good--you should!" "I always feel hopeful and excited about things, but today feels special. Something really good is going to happen. And I really think I stand a chance with this grant giveaway." "Of course you do!"

Cue 12:01 AM, when I tried and failed to submit my Pepsi project. A few hours later, adrenaline still rushing through body after having tried to troubleshoot the technological issues that held me back from submitting my little grant application, I lay in bed trying to fall asleep.

And then today was a doozie. It's rare that I'm discouraged or down in the dumps, but man--today did a number on me, and nothing even happened! (Why did I refuse to note the signs of a migraine coming on?) While running errands, I noticed that the daylight made me squint, and my vision was blurry. I took down my photo show from the Flicker Bar, and ended up getting super-teary-eyed. Not sure why, as I know I sold well (I sold enough photos to reach my goal of having enough dough to launch the Avid Bookshop website!) and had a really successful art opening on February 1st. Hell, even if I'd sold nothing, I still would've felt proud of myself for having my first-ever photo show, for doing something public with a hobby I think I'm pretty good at.

So it wasn't regret that made me teary-eyed, and it wasn't the usual reason that I cry at the drop of a hat (um, PMS, anyone?): I think it was that I was getting a migraine. Yesterday evening, I was feeling particularly euphoric, more encouraged and productive and active than I've been in weeks! But then the prodrome really set in (my blurred vision, the bright sun, the weepiness, incessant yawning) without my realizing (or wanting to acknowledge) what it was.

Now, 22 hours after my hopeful, euphoric outburst, I'm feeling okay. A little down in the dumps, a little discouraged, and a little distracted by the discomfort that's not quite settled in behind my left eye. Tomorrow I'll begin anew, having a couple of bookstore meetings and dealing with some bureaucratic bill pay stuff that will surely find me sitting on hold, book in hand for a little while.

Hope you're well.

2 comments:

Kelly said...

Hi, I found your blog about 6 months ago when I was getting migraines every day. I was at the end of my tether and would have tried anything. I was advised to get accupuncture. I did, and I have not had one single migraine since my first session, and the aura syptoms dissapeard completely after about 5 treatments. I have not read every blog so you may have tried this already, but you helped me with this blog when I was down, so I wanted to let you know what helped me. I hope you can try accupuncture if you haven't already. It really worked for me. xx

themigrainegirl said...

Thanks, Kelly! You know what? I went to about 5 acupuncture sessions and then stopped because I was about to travel a lot. And then I didn't return, which is preposterous because I've read studies about how it helps migraine patients and because our city has something called "community acupuncture," which is really affordable. Your note has encouraged me to look into it again. (And I'm so pleased that my blog encouraged you when you needed it.) So glad you're feeling well.

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